The Daily Spam Report: 2/14: I won the Sochi Olympic Lottery and one from Italy, too

olympic-rings-1366583052mobEvery time there is a major lottery jackpot to be won, news stations routinely quote the statistics that you’re likelier to die from bee stings or get hit by lightning than buy the winning ticket. Point being, it’s not likely to win.

So, imagine my surprise and sheer jubilation when within moments this morning I received two emails claiming I was rich. “CONFIRM YOUR PRIZE!!!,” read the first line of one. “Dear:Lucky Winner!!” read the other.

One is from the Sochi Olympic Lottery and the other is from something called the Lotteria Shop National and a guy named Pepe. Seriously, his name is Pepe. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

Well, I’ve always stipulated I won the lottery when I met and married my wife. I’ve won three more times with my kids. My next lottery win will come when the Chicago Cubs win the World Series. Notice, I said “when,” not “if.”

Anyhow, I didn’t win. If you get these emails, you didn’t win either. They are phishing expeditions looking for personal information. No good comes from responding.

Just hit delete.

Have a great weekend.

Adam

—–Original Message—–
From: EuroMillones Lottery S.A. [mailto:winners@sochi.ru]
Sent: Thursday, February 13, 2014 4:20 AM
Subject: PRIZE CLAIM / Ref: ES556719-G

CONFIRM YOUR PRIZE!!!

This email is to notify you that you have won an Award Sum of 415.810,00 Ђuros of the ongoing SOCHI.RU Olimpic email lottery program held on the 09/02/2014.

Please contact the Payment Director with your winning info: REF NUM. (No: GFC8110/3740K) BATCH NUM. (HOL04-R591/XB301) WINING NUM.(NJP8182-131Y),Ticket Number: (0031-4365021) Lucky Number SPL (501/0267)

Kindly send the following to the below contact for easy identification/timely consideration:

1. Full Name:

2. Direct phone:

3. Date of Birth / Age:

4. Occupation:

5. Current Address (P.o Box not acceptable)

By contacting:-

Contact Name: Mr Ken Lawson.

Telephone: +34-911323001

Email:  occ-espa@post.com or oceancreditc@gmail.com

The  SOCHI.RU Olimpic email lottery is lawfullfully approved by the Russian Government and sponsored by Microsoft Corporation and is registered and protected by the Benelux trademark law.

Please note that the validity period of these winning is 14 working days; hence you are expected to make your claims immediately. Any claim not made before this date will be transfer to the suspense vault of the Spanish Gaming Board.

Congratulations!!!

Sincerely yours,

Mrs. Angela Brown (Dr)

-Director of Operation-

—–Original Message—–

From: fdsgcalcio@libero.it [mailto:fdsgcalcio@libero.it]
Sent: Thursday, February 13, 2014 4:45 PM
Subject: Dear:Lucky Winner!!

Dear:Lucky Winner!!

Congratulations to you as we bring to your notice the result of Lotteria Shop National promotion.We are happy to inform you that your Email address have emerged a winner of Four Hundred and Fifty Thousand Euros (450,000.00) Euros.

NOTE: to file for your claim, please contact the claim department (Mr.Pepe Juvani

Juanito) below on this information.

Contact:Mr.Pepe Juvani

Milan Italian

mail:infosatlas@aim.com

Find below your promotion date, Reference and Batch numbers,Remember to quote these numbers in your correspondence with your claims agent

Mr.Pepe Juvani,

PROMOTION DATE:02/13/2014.

REFERENCE NUMBER:

SLEU/2031/5256/08

BATCH NUMBER:19/051/IPF

TICKET NUMBER:654326/74754

NOTE: All winnings must be claimed not later than 30 working days, Congratulations once again from all our staff and thank you for being part of our promotions program.

Sincerely Yours,

Mrs.Agostino Rossi

The Daily Spam Report 11/18: Deja vu all over again

Yogi-Berra-1There may be no easier way to get me to giggle than reading me Yogi Berra quotes. The Hall of Fame and former New York Yankees catcher is known for his quips that may not be artful in their use of the English language, but always seem to convey what he’s trying to say.

For example, “If you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

Or, “Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.”

Or, the one that’s inspired this blog post, “It’s deja vu all over again.”

Last week, I posted an email solicitation from Mr. Soon, who claimed to have an inheritance he would share with me. It had all the hallmarks of a scam. The reason, I’m including it again is because it’s sent from a different address.

Same text of the email, same email you’re supposed to respond to, but the sender’s email is different and this is important. You see, many people block email addresses that they think are sending them spam, so what did the people trying to do the spamming do, they just send it from a different email.

That’s what’s so insidious about these pitches. They’re so cheap to produce (i.e. it’s free to create an email address) and all it takes is someone to go for it.  Point I was trying to make is that we can fight these scammers all the time, but sometimes their emails get through because they morph faster than we can block them.

Just hit delete.

And if you want to read more Yogi Berra quotes, go here: http://www.baseball-almanac.com/quotes/quoberra.shtml

Take care,

Adam

——————————————————————————–
From: Cham TAO Soon [mailto:janeweste68@yahoo.com]
Sent: Saturday, November 16, 2013 11:58 PM
To: Recipients
Subject: Greetings from Singapore (Proposal)

Apologies for invading your privacy like this! I am Mr. Soon; I lost one of my most influential and wealthy clients who had a secret account worth €105,000,000.00 EUR with UOB Singapore while alive. I seek your consent to partner with me to recover and share the monies. All the documents will be legally applied for and procured by me. Please send me a confidential response if you think you can be trusted I await your quick response. chmtsoon@outlook.com

I get to cheer tonight

24 years ago, I sat court-side in the Kingdome as a reporter for The Michigan Daily as my university played Seton Hall for the NCAA Championship. You’d think the most searing memory would be Glen Rice’s perfect jump shot or Rumeal Robinson’s game-winning free throw or Terry Mills celebrating while cutting down the net (great shot by our Michigan Daily staff here), but instead it’s something that happened within the first few minutes of the game.

U of Michigan center Terry Mills after the title-game victory over Seton Hall. (File photo by The Michigan Daily)

U of Michigan center Terry Mills after the title-game victory over Seton Hall. (File photo by The Michigan Daily)

That’s when the student reporter from Seton Hall was kicked off of press row for openly cheering for his school. I know it might surprise some folks, but basic sports journalism, at least the kind I was taught back in the early ’80s prohibited boosterism. I watched this likely 20-year-old kid in disbelief get forcibly removed from his seat and went back to sitting on my hands when I wasn’t taking notes.

It was at that moment that I realized I didn’t want to cover sports for my career. That kid had it right. Your school, your alma mater is in a championship game and you ought to be able to cheer.

Unencumbered now as a news reporter, I will do tonight what I could not do 24 years ago. I will openly cheer for the Wolverines… except I won’t be court-side and I’m guessing my wife will want me to be as quiet as possible so as to not wake up the kids.

Go Blue!

“You did not see anything”

Guido (Courtesy: Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel)

Guido
(Courtesy: Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel)

This is a time and space for someone more clever than me.

Someone who could wax rhapsodic about the two-week investigation into the disappearance of  Guido, what a lucky headline writer at the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel called “The Missing Link.” If you’ve been over a rock the last 24 hours you are aware about how the Italian Sausage, one of the five sausages that race during Milwaukee Brewers games at Miller Park, had been stolen from the city’s Winter Festival on Feb. 17.

From there, the 7-foot-long weenie had been spotted at two separate Cedarburg drinking establishments that same night although photographic evidence or Tweets cannot be found, leading this intrepid reporter to cry foul as there’s no way the Italian Sausage comes into a bar at midnight and no one snaps a couple pictures. That seems inconceivable to me.

Well, last night after the story had gone viral, even leading to an email from a friend teaching at a university in Germany, Guido re-appeared at one of the two bars he’d earlier visited in Cedarburg.

Sometimes, this stuff writes itself. Here’s the section from the Milwaukee paper:

“Two men – one wearing a hoodie pulled tight over his face – lugged the larger-than-life link into the bar just before 8 p.m. Wednesday, plopped him on a bar stool and warned staff, “You did not see anything,” said bartender Jen Mohney.

“Like I didn’t just see two guys plop a sausage on a bar stool,” Mohney said.

Mohney said the two left in less than a minute and she immediately called police.”

There are too many things that come to mind. Like this:

Or this, my kids’ favorite (Go to the 1:16 mark):

Like I wrote earlier, this demands someone with far more skill than me. Maybe Colonel Mustard with a hoagie or Randall Simon with a bat can help.

You and my fellow fantasy baseball owners can remember Simon and how Guido’s had a rough history, even though he won more races last year than the Chorizo, the Hot Dog, the Polish or the Bratwurst. Simon was on the bench for the Pirates back in 2003 when this wonderful incident with Guido made national news too.