“There is no risk involved” in The Daily Spam Report of 4/10

nothingToday’s post may give you a window into my psyche, a battered (due to my long-standing dedication to the Chicago Cubs) and at times, juvenile, state-of-mind.

At first blush, the note below does not offer much different from what we’ve seen before. There’s an alleged dead guy, his busting-at-the seams bank account that’s been unclaimed, a desire to get me to stand in as his “rightful beneficiary,” a request for my grammatically incorrect “optimum honesty cooperation,” and of course, a demand that I “handle this information with utmost secrecy.”

We’ve all seen that before, right?

What made me giggle though was this line: “Please,  there is no risk involved.”

No, of course not. No risk at all.

It immediately triggered this scene from “The Naked Gun,” and is the singular reason I’m posting this today. Now, I have to somehow extricate myself from watching more YouTube clips from this film which still cracks me up to this day.

Take care and just hit delete. Feel free to laugh first.

Adam

—–Original Message—–
From: Mr Gerald Magoro. [mailto:308@gdqy.edu.cn]
Sent: Sunday, April 06, 2014 10:07 AM
Subject: WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU

Hello Dear,

How are you?  I have been in search of someone to introduce this transfer investment  to and it is my pleasure to seek for your business assistance.

In the year 2007,  One Late Dr. Curtis,  had a fixed deposit with my bank for 36 calendar months,  valued Eight million,  four hundred thousand US dollars only (USD8.400,000,00)  the due date for this deposit contract was 11 December,  2010.  Sadly,  Dr. Curtis  was in Libya on a business trip and that was how he met his end, I have carried out various inquiries to locate any of his client and extended relatives but this has proved unsuccessful. Since the demise of  this our customer, who was a seasoned oil Merchant/contractor. I have kept a close watch of the deposit records and accounts and since then no body has come to claim the said money as next of kin.

I hereby write in regards to this effect to have you stand as the rightful beneficiary to Late Dr. Curtis so that the fund will be claimed and transferred into your designated bank account before my bank declare the total fund unserviceable and confiscate it.  Because last week my Bank Management requested that I should give instructions on what to do about his funds.

Please,  there is no risk involved,  the transaction will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you and I from any breach of law.

I immensely request for your optimum honesty cooperation and let me know your mind on this,  and please do handle this information with utmost secrecy.  We shall go over the details once I receive your urgent response, through my private email:geraldmag1@gmail.com

Anticipating your communication and God bless you.

Best regards,

Gerald Magoro.

Agricultural Development Bank, Ghana Limited

The Daily Spam Report 4/3: This will self destruct in 10 minutes

missionWe’ve described for you in the past about how emails purportedly from Microsoft will actually come from Microsoft, not from another email. Here’s a link to Microsoft’s own guide on how to avoid phishing scams (http://www.microsoft.com/security/online-privacy/phishing-scams.aspx)

But the reason I’m posting this bonus viewer-submitted Spam Report (thank you Claire B.) today is because I grew up a fan of the Mission Impossible series. Yes, before there was Tom Cruise and the big-budget spectacular films, there was Peter Graves and some really old tape recorders that would “self destruct in five seconds” after he had received his “mission should (he) agree to undertake it.”

You know, he always did agree to undertake it because there wouldn’t have been a program if he hadn’t, but I digress.

Anyhow, Claire said she’s received the email below a few times before forwarding it to me on Tuesday. It tells her her email address is locked up and she needs to click on a link in order to re-activate it. Claire didn’t click on the link and thought it was suspicious, in part because of the poor grammar, so she sent it my way.

I’ve waited before showing this to you all because there’s a line in the body of the email that says the aforementioned link would “self destruct in 10 minutes after mail has been read.” Well, here we are two days later, and it has not self-destructed sadly. I was actually curious to see how that might happen. MITapeSelfDestruct

Without any evidence of it transpiring in this email, allow me to complete your day with the following link to the real thing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MA2KmJMKFrQ

That was good television.

Have a great day and remember to just hit delete.

Adam

——– Original message ——–
From: Microsoft Team <service@oulu.fi>
Date: 03/31/2014 6:18 AM (GMT-06:00)
To: XXXX@msn.com
Subject: Microsoft account @msn.com place on hold.

Microsoft account
Unusual Login on account
Your Microsoft account XXXX@msn.com was recently access from an unrecognized device.
As part of our Security Policy Agreement between Microsoft and You.
We have temporary place your account on hold.
Please kindly click the Re-verify button below to reactivate your Microsoft account XXXX@msn.com
Re-verify Microsoft account XXXX@msn.com
The above button will self destruct in 10 minutes after mail has been read.
Failure to re-verify your Microsoft account XXXX@msn.com. Your account will be disable permanently.
Thanks,
The Microsoft account team

 

The Daily Spam Report 4/1: “The dumbest spam email I’ve ever seen”

IRS“This is the dumbest spam email I’ve ever seen.”

That’s how Diane C. in Mauston started her note to me and it was love at first read on my end. Have to say, after reading the email she forwarded to me, she might be right. That said, I love the bluntness and unfortunately, I could see some folks falling for the note she sent.

It is purportedly from the IRS. It had the IRS logo on it, looks official, and basically tells the recipient, all they have to do to file their taxes is to click on a button that takes them to some other place on line.

“Follow the instruction below to file you tax in as little as 2 Minitues!”

Regular readers will note that poor grammar and spelling is an obvious tip-off that something is wrong. I don’t think the IRS would allow you to “file you tax” in as little as “2 Minitues!” We all know it takes longer than two minutes to file one’s taxes, but take a look at the first line of the note and that’s what jumped out to Diane.

“You have been selected to take part in the new IRS Automatic Federal Income Tax Return filing Scheme,” is how it reads.

“The first sentence says SCHEME,” Diane wrote. “DUH.”

Duh, indeed. Couldn’t have stated it better myself.

Thanks Diane for sending this in.

If you have an email you want to warn your neighbors about, please send it to me: mailto:aschrager@wisctv.com and then, just hit delete.

Have a great day.

Adam

——– Original Message ——–

Subject: [Bulk] Important 2013 Automatic Tax Return Filing
Date: Thu, 27 Mar 2014 19:16:25 -0700
From: Internal Revenue Service <no-reply@islandsbanki.is>
To: mygenealogy123@yahoo.com

 

 

IRS 2013 Automatic Tax Return Filing

 

You have been selected to take part in the new IRS Automatic Federal Income Tax Return filing Scheme. The new systems allows IRS to automatically file your tax return based on the previous financial year. This service is provided to selected few free of charge for your convenience. It allows you to file your federal tax return hasle free.

Follow the instruction below to file you tax in as little as 2 Minitues!

Note: If you have already filed your tax return you can ignore this message. If not, please follow the instruction below.

 

Get Your filing status….

 

  • Single
  • Married-Filing Joint Return
  • Married-Filing Seaparate Return
  • Head of Household
  • Qualifying Widow(er) with dependent child

 

  Gather your information…

 

  • Social Security Number (SSN) or Individuals Tax Identification Number (TIN)
  • First and last name
  • Date of birth
  • Filing status, and
  • Spouse Name, SSN and Date of Birth if Married
  • Dependents Name, SSN and Date of Birth if you have dependents
  • Complete mailing address as it appeared on your 2012 tax return.
  File Your Return Now!

 

  • File your return by clicking the link below
  • Click Here to File your 2013 Federal Income Tax Return
  • This special offer is given for a limited time only as limited space is available
  • If you do not file your tax return immediately, you might not be able to file by this automatic method later

 

 

 

Sharing the same podium as Arthur Koehler: 79 years later

rotary talkThis week, I had the great honor to speak before the Madison chapter of The Rotary Club. Growing up in Evanston, Illinois, home of the first ever Rotary chapter, I always knew that building as the one right across from my favorite pizza place. Through the years though, I’ve been educated specifically about the great work Rotary has done helping to eradicate polio all over the world.

I was there to discuss “The Sixteenth Rail,” the story of Arthur Koehler’s wood detection and Sherlock Holmes-like botanical detective skills that helped solve the Lindbergh baby kidnapping case. What was even more amazing is that it’s a story Koehler himself shared at the Madison Rotary Club in the summer of 1935.

Here’s a link to an article written about the talk: http://rotarymadison.org/wp-content/forms/newsletters/2014/Mar2814.pdf

Thanks to my friend, Bob Delaporte, for taking the picture that accompanies this post.

The Daily Spam Report 3/25: $1.5 million and a BMW for 2nd place?

bmw-vision-m1-hommage-01Regular readers of The Spam Report will often note how the more implausible a premise, the unlikelier it is to be true. That’s got to be provable somehow in the scientific world, but that would have required me to pay more attention to those classes in high school. I’m more of a social science guy than a physical science guy.

Anyhow, today’s viewer submission, from Dale Zuhse, proves this point once again. So Dale got an email claiming he’d come in second place in a contest he’d never entered. His winnings were $1.5 million and a new BMW. His only cost… he would have to drive around his new wheels with a company logo on the door for a minimum of six months.

Oh, he’d have to give his personal information to whoever is emailing him as well.

Here’s where this gets even more implausible. The email ostensibly comes from a manufacturing company, “Nippon Steel & Sumitomo Metal Company,” in Japan. Set aside for a moment the concept of a steel company offering random people millions of dollars (by the way, if 2nd place gets you $1.5 million, I wonder what the first prize would have been) and focus on the second part of the giveaway: the BMW.

Is it just me or is it odd that a “Japanese” company would give away a German-manufactured car?

“I have received several “money is waiting” letters and emails over the years, usually from Nigeria,” wrote Dale in a note to me. “This is the first from Japan. If it turns out to be legitimate, I’ll take the money and you can have the BMW.”

Sorry Dale, I think we’re both hosed on this one. Thanks for sending it in.

If you have an email you want to warn your neighbors about, please share it with us by forwarding it to me: mailto:aschrager@wisctv.com and then, just hit delete.

Have a great day.

Adam

From: Nippon Steel & Sumitomo Metal company <info@nssmc.com>
Date: March 17, 2014 at 6:22:06 AM CDT
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
Subject: :::EMAIL PRIZE AWARD:::
Reply-To: nssmdept1@yahoo.com.tw

Nippon Steel & Sumitomo Metal company
Headquarters Address:Marunouchi Park Bldg.,
2-6-1 Marunouchi, Chiyoda-ku.
Tokyo 100-8071, Japan.
Telephone: (81 10) 68160290 or 68160296
Fax: (81 10) 84775187
http://www.nssmc.com

Dear Email-User,

:::EMAIL PRIZE AWARD:::

We at Nippon Steel & Sumitomo Metal Company, we likes to officially congratulate
you for the draw that was just held by our company which featured you as
the second place winner. This promotion is just one of various ways we are
presently using to achieve this global vision of ours.

It is important that i inform you that there were no sales of tickets as
the lottery was conducted electronically,emails were automatically assigned
to different Ticket No. for representation,your e-mail Address attached to
MICRO ID: NSSM-0711-CCT-NSSM612-CC31, with serial No:7263-267, has won you
$1.5 Million United State Dollars. with a Brand New Gallery 2014 BMW x6
Series model: which is worth $56,505 USD. This money and gift we believe
will enable you make some impact in the society and possibly invest in our
company in the near future.

You are hereby requested to contact our agent for more details on our
Promotion in particular before taking further actions to claim your prize.
Ensure you inform, Mr. Satoru Alex who is our fiduciary claims official in
Europe (United Kingdom) and can understand English and some other European
Languages. See details of him below;Please copy and reply with this email address of the company claims officer if you must get a reply.

Name: Mr. Satoru Alex
E-mail: nssmdept1@yahoo.com.tw
Address: 1 Sheldon Square, London, W2 6TT, United Kingdom
Phone: Tel: +44701-292-5633
Fax: 44-20-7266-7491

When contacting the claims agent you should include the following if you
must get a response from him;
*** Your Full Name:
*** Address:
*** Phone number:
*** Age:
*** Gender:
*** Occupation:
*** Micro ID:
*** serial No:

We know you must be excited and very happy about this news you have just
received from us
the truth is that we are doing this to put smiles into homes and hearts of
people worldwide. The only thing you will need to pay to this company is to
kindly place our company logo on the car (BMW)
that you have just won for a minimum of six (6) months.

On behalf of the entire management and staffs of ?Nippon Steel & Sumitomo
Metal company, I say Congratulations to you and your family.

Signed,
Akio Mimura
Director & President
________________________________________________________
*NOTE** you must be 15years or older to claim. Late response is not
accepted, misconduct and non adherence to instructions leads to prize
termination. Do not fail to keep your winning information personal for
security reasons because the Company will not be responsible for lost of
funds.

The Daily Spam Report 3/24: Janet Yellen is giving me $30 million

janet yellenThere’s been an awful lot of investors around the world watching the actions of the new head of the Federal Reserve, Janet Yellen. Her original remarks discussing the scaling back of the government’s stimulus package roiled the stock market, but politics aside, I have to tell you I love the monetary policies of the Federal Reserve.

I mean wouldn’t you be ecstatic too if you got an email from “Mr. John Mike,” ostensibly from the Federal Reserve Bank in New York, but I’m crediting Dr. Yellen with this, offering you a “long over due” $30 million. How awesome is this? I’m sure all I have to do is give them my bank account number, routing information, passwords and such, so they can directly transfer those funds to me. I mean, you really don’t want that much cash hanging around, right? Makes more sense to do an electronic transfer.

Unless it doesn’t. Unless you haven’t caught on to my sarcasm throughout.

Don’t fall for this, please. The Federal Reserve does not have $30 million, $30,000 or even $30 for you that is “long over due.” It’s just not going to happen. Sorry about that.

As an aside, if you’re going to make up a fake banker’s identity, I don’t know, but having two generic first names just doesn’t make sense. Make it something more clever like Mr. Cash Green.

Anyhow, if you have an email you want to warn your neighbors about, please send it to me: mailto:aschrager@wisctv.com and we can possibly pass it along to our viewers.

Take care and just hit delete.

Adam

From: john mike [mailto:john.mike2000@yahoo.com]
Sent: Saturday, March 22, 2014 9:15 AM
To: paymentdepartment@gmail.com
Subject: Federal Reserve Bank New York

FEDERAL RESERVE BANK NEW YORK
33 Liberty Street New York, NY 10045 – USA

Attn:

RE:   INSTRUCTIONS TO CREDIT YOUR BANK ACCOUNT WITH USD $30,000,000.00

The management of the Federal Reserve Bank New York writes to inform you of your long over due payment that has been lying wait in the treasury department of the Federal Reserve Bank  for payment. With regards to the approval of your payment as confirmed by the Legal Department of the Federal Reserve Bank New York;Upon the transfer of your total sum into your nominated  banking account, our Bank herein will be transferring this funds to you as was instructed, on the transfer.you are hereby directed to contact Mr.John Mike for immediate payment as your payment officer with the contact information below:

Contact Person:  Mr. John Mike
Federal Reserve Bank New York
Direct Email: john.mike2000@yahoo.com

The Daily Spam Report 3/17: “Your Kind Attention”

United-Nations-logoGood morning to you all,

We’ve gone over multiple times how the United Nations and the World Bank are NOT going to contact you out of the blue to offer you millions of dollars. Just doesn’t happen like that.

However, I wanted to point out a few specific red flags here as they can help when you’re looking at other suspicious emails. Always look at the sender’s email address which you can get to by putting your mouse over it. In addition, it’s always interesting to see the other email addresses the sender is offering and sometimes, it can offer a clue that tells you something like this is bogus.

For example, the email this was sent from has a yahoo.co.jp address which means it originated in Japan. The email they want you to respond to has a yahoo.es address which means it’s in Spain or elsewhere in central Europe. Meanwhile, the email claims to be offering you money from Nigeria. That’s three different continents represented in one simple email. Doesn’t make any sense, does it?

Further, they’ve put the date in the subject line as June 3, 2014, not for another few months. That makes no sense.

Anyhow, if you have an email you want to warn your neighbors about, please send it to me: mailto:aschrager@wisctv.com and then, just hit delete.

Take care,

Adam

—–Original Message—–
From: Mrs.Hanna Ruby hannruby030@yahoo.co.jp [mailto:Mrs.Hanna Ruby hannruby030@yahoo.co.jp]
Sent: Sunday, March 09, 2014 7:35 AM
To: Recipients
Subject: Your Kind Attention,Date 6/03/2014

UNITED NATIONS / WORLD BANK ORGANIZATION United Nations House, 617/618.

Diplomatic Zone,

Central Area District,

Federal Capital Territory,

Abuja, Nigeria.

Our Ref: YBNGWB/UN/2014.

E-mail: hannruby30@yahoo.co.jp

E-mail hanna_ruby@aol.com

Attention: Dear Beneficiary,

APPROVED COMPENSATION PAYMENT  OF US$2.3M

This is to inform you that a Debit Cash Card Number 7876310003001420 Valued at $2.3 Million United States Dollars has been accredited in your favor.Please contact Mr. James Christopher, Email:

jameschristopher943@yahoo.es with the following information to facilitate your claims:

FULL NAME:

AGE:

GENDER:

ADDRESS:

COUNTRY:

OCCUPATION:

MOBILE NUMBER:

Best Regards,

Mrs.Hanna Ruby

CIV NAVSUBTORPFAC YORK.

UNITED NATIONS / WORLD BANK ORGANIZATION.

E-mail: hannruby30@yahoo.co.jp

E-mail hanna_ruby@aol.com

The Daily Spam Report 3/12: An old “friend” from Hong Kong has $47.3 million for me

hong kongLoyal fans of the blog–that’d be you, Mom–will recognize the old “friend” who has once again reached out to us for today’s Spam Report.

You may remember Mrs. Supini Thrunkul from a couple months ago when she and I traded multiple emails because she had $47.3 million in the China Minsheng Bank that apparently belonged to my long-lost, never-existing, now-dead for 7 years cousin, Dr. Dietrich Schrager. At the time, she had me correspond with her lawyer, Barrister Skunk Moon, who remains my favorite figure in the months I’ve been writing this blog. I couldn’t make this stuff up.

Well now, she’s back, apparently having not yet scrubbed her email list for duds like mine. She’s writing me now from a different email address, offering up a different phone number and representing a different bank (Tai Yau Bank Hong Kong), but that $47.3 million is the same. So, too, is the claim that it’s the money of a dead relative and I’m the one who needs to get it or the Chinese government will take it to deal with its “liquidation crisis.”

I’ve responded, so you don’t have to. You should never play along with these folks as it only encourages them. I’ll let you know what she/he says.

That said, feel free to share them with me: mailto:aschrager@wisctv.com and I can use them to help warn our neighbors.

Take care and just hit delete.

Adam

—–Original Message—–
From: Mrs.Supini Thrunkul [mailto:info@qltt.in]
Sent: Friday, March 07, 2014 11:18 AM
To: Adam Schrager
Subject: Comprehensive Details

Dear Adam Schrager

Let me explain the reason why i contacted you. I am Mrs.Supini Thrunkul from Tai Yau Bank Hong Kong,I need your cooperation  to transfer $47.3 million US Dollars to any trusted account within your  control.

I contacted you because there is an account in our bank belonging to a customer who previously operated business in china, but has been confirmed dead in china.

This account has been dormant for 7 years and we have not heard a word from anybody who knows this customer.

We have investigated and confirmed he has no family, no wife and children. The money has stayed long enough with the bank and it is about to be reverted to the OWNERSHIP of the China Government, due to liquidation crisis.

Now the only way this money can go out of this account is when a fellow, who is lucky enough to share the same family name or nationality of the deceased, can be presented to the bank as the next of kin to the deceased.

This can be done and achieved effortlessly by a registered lawyer in China who will secure valid documents in your names to present your file to the admin department. Once this is done, the bank has no choice but to transfer all the money to your account. After the money has been transferred to your account, you will have to pay me 20% and you take 80%. Is This Ok by you? This Transaction is legal and 100% risk free. But you must keep it secret .

The process of transaction can be concluded within 4-5 working days and the money will be in your account. Write back to me immediately so that i can give you a registered lawyer contact details and i will tell you what next to do.

SUPINI THRUNKUL

Foreign Operations Dept.

29/F, Tai Tung Building

8 Fleming Road Wanchai

Hong Kong

Tel: +85258084865

Fax: +85230101215

Email: accounts@taiyaubank.com

The Daily Spam Report 3/10: A Florida woman claiming to be my sister is trying to steal my fake millions

floridaAs if I have not had many reasons to be angry with Florida this winter (it’s been sunny and warm there), now I’m really ticked.

Specifically, I’m furious that some woman named “Ms . Lara Davies,” who claims she’s my sister. She lives in Fort Pierce, Florida and she’s trying to steal the fake $10.5 million that I’m supposed to be getting from the completely made-up Inter-Continental Debt Reconciliation Department at the very real International Monetary Fund.

Of course, there’s no such address nor any record of a Lara Davies who lives in Fort Pierce or Florida at all, but I have three older sisters already. I got put in dresses and makeup as a kid. I was forced to play the worst instrument in the house band. I sat on the hump seat in the back for years growing up, if I got a seat at all. Point being, I’m traumatized enough decades later that the idea of having another sister is just too much.

Good to know, this is all a scam and I can go back to my regularly scheduled therapy.

Just hit delete and have a great day.

If you have an email or a fake sister you want to warn your real neighbors about, please send it to me: mailto:aschrager@wisctv.com

Adam

—–Original Message—–
From: Mr.James Williamson [mailto:ndic_dmo@bellsouth.net]
Sent: Tuesday, March 04, 2014 8:57 AM
Subject: Your Kind Attention!!!

INTER-CONTINENTAL DEBT RECONCILIATION DEPT FROM THE DESK OF: MR. JAMES WILLIAMSON

PROVISION OF POWER OF ATTORNEY FOR LEGAL COVER / PROTECTION. OF U.S. $ 10.5M

Attention Beneficiary

This Notice is brought to you from IMF World Fund Discovery Management and Payment Bureau and this Bureau was set up by the World Bank and IMF to discover all outstanding payment being owned to Individuals all over the world through Inheritance and unclaimed Lottery payment.

This Bureau is authorized by the World Bank through the the IMF Board to pay your unclaimed inheritance payment of TEN MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS ($ 10,500,000.00 USD) the which is targeted for Charity.

Based on our investigation of your payment, a woman with the name (Ms . Lara Davies) Came To Our Office With An Application Stating That she is your sister, You Gave Her The Power Of Attorney To Be The Beneficiary Of Your Outstanding Contract Award Funds. She Made Us To Believe That You Are Dead And That She Is Your Next Of Kin.

We Got Your Email Address And Decided To Send An Email Through This Address Hoping To Find Out If You Are Dead Or Alive And Also To Find Out If You At Any Time Gave This woman The Power Of Attorney To Receive Your fund Or Represent You Please Let Us Know Also If You Are Aware That We Are Almost Ready To Deliver Part Payment Of $ 5.6M Of Your Outstanding Awards Funds To Her the Address Stated Below:

Address: 107 Treasure Cay Dr Apt.209

City: Fort Pierce

State : FL Zip

Code: 35 957

Country: United States

Beneficiary: Ms Lara Davies

You are Advised to urgently confirm to this office with the information as requested below so that we will be able to process the final release of your fund to your respected account in your Country accordingly to avoid false claim .

Your Full Names:

Your Home Address:

Your Home Telephone:

4 Your Mobile Phone:

5 Your Age and Sex:

Your Alternative E-mail Address:

We look forward to your urgent confirmation.

Yours Faithfully,

MR. JAMES WILLIAMSON.

DIRECTOR INTER-CONTINENTAL DEBT RECONCILIATION DEPT.

Book talk in Wisconsin Rapids on 3/6

McMillan Library

McMillan Library

I’m excited to go to Wood County, the site of Arthur Koehler’s first criminal case testimony, on Thursday night for a talk at the McMillan Library.

Koehler’s work helped convict John Magnuson of creating a bomb that killed the wife of the Wood County Commissioner in December, 1922.

We’ll discuss Koehler’s work on that case as well as the work that made him famous, the “Sherlock Holmes of (his) era,” on the Lindbergh baby kidnapping case at the library in Wisconsin Rapids.

Here’s a preview of the talk from The Wisconsin Rapids Tribune: http://www.wisconsinrapidstribune.com/article/20140304/WRT10/303040073/Library-welcomes-Lindbergh-kidnap-author

It’s free to come and it all starts at 7pm.